The Cycles (Part Eight)

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The Cycles (Part Eight)

“Nine” Part Series

THE REST CYCLE AT WORK

The following are some scenarios showing the “Rest Cycle” in action.

John has been a diligent and hard worker. He is anticipating a promotion and a raise at work. But John discovers that someone else in the company has received the promotion and raise.

Here is the reaction when performance-based thinking guides John’s behavior:

The Problem

This really hurt me and I closed myself off to my boss and everyone that I work with.

The Emotion

I felt like a child sent to his room because I made a serious mistake.

The Shaming Message

If I were a better worker, I would have been promoted.

The Shaming Conclusion

I must be incapable. I am not a good worker. I give-up.

Here is the response when God-based thinking guides John’s behavior:

God As The Source

God is my source for all things including my job.

God’s New Message

God says I am good enough, and even though I was passed up for the job, I know my value and worth are not derived from what I do, but rather who I am and whose I am.

The Consistent Behavior

I can walk out of my office and interact with my fellow employees and my boss. God loves me, and I am fully accepted by Him, no matter the position I hold at work.

___________________

Nathaniel grew up in a strong, shame-based family. His mother was constantly berating him by making statements such as, “Can’t you do anything right?” “You have such a big nose.” “You need to apologize to Uncle Frank because you were judgmental to him.” “Children need to respect their elders.”

Years later, Nathaniel’s parents came to visit him and his wife, and his mother continued to call him judgmental. According to his mother, everything Nathaniel did or said was judgmental.

Here is the reaction when performance-based thinking guides Nathaniel’s behavior: 

The Problem

This has been going on all my life; maybe my mother is right? I must be judgmental. God must view me as a judgmental person.

The Emotion

I feel like a judgmental and negative person and I need to change my attitude. God does not accept me because I am judgmental.

The Shaming Message

If I were a non-judgmental person my mother would respect me and we would get along. The Lord would be proud of me and receive me because I would be acting gracious.

The Shaming Conclusion

I am not a good person, and I need to shape up and try harder.

Here is the response when God-based thinking guides Nathaniel’s behavior:

God As The Source

God is my source for all things including my relationship with my mother.

God’s New Message

God says I am His. I am approved and accepted by God. I am safe with Him. I am His son who is fully capable of loving all people. The truth is that I am not judgmental, but that I see things through His eyes, which are full of grace and mercy.

Consistent Behavior

I can interact with my family knowing that I am loved and accepted and fully able to love others.

Look for The Cycles (Part Nine) post tomorrow.

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About Ken Winton

Ken Winton is a transparent conversationalist; his inspiring teachings have motivated companies of people around the world into living their lives lighter. Ken is edgy, relatable, some times a goof, but always influential. Ken is an international speaker, author, musician and hosts his own radio show, podcasts and blogs and most of all, loves to go on walks with his wife Becky. When Ken is not on the road he frequents his favorite coffeehouse to sip on a cup of caffeine and chat with the locals. Ken resides in Chico California with his wife, three kids, two daughter-in-laws, one son-in-law and a whole mob of five glorious grand-kids. And, by the way each grandchild is his favorite.
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One Response to The Cycles (Part Eight)

  1. Pingback: The Cycles (Part Eight) | REMEMBER WHO YOU ARE | Homestead Ministries

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