Let me tell you about Sue who is one of the staff members at The Prayer House. Prior to being on staff at the house, Sue became hungry, thirsty and desperate for God. Sue is one of those individuals who wear their emotions on their sleeve. You could see the pain in her face. Her eyes spoke volumes of shame. Her emotionally charged words expressed the agony of life she was experiencing. I have often been an observer of body languages and trust me, Sue’s body language spoke clearly. I would observe Sue in the prayer room weeping before God. Her body would shake from all the torment she was so familiar with.
The good news was Sue was not very skillful at concealing her anguish. She was vulnerable about her frailties and weaknesses. In our conversations she would admit her emotional addiction to marijuana. She said she used marijuana to cover the throbbing sense of worthlessness. Sue shared numerous lies she had been fed and digested through the years. Her “shame grid” was well formed and clogged with deceit.
“I was told lies from my parents, they said, I was nothing more than a dirty rotten son of a bitch. I felt like I was really dirty, rotten to the core and honestly, too worthless to be fixed,” Sue said.
She continued, “My Pastor’s wife told me I had more problems than the Pastor’s knew what to do with, so that reconfirmed my worthlessness. I was told that I was rebellious because I would ask questions in the church, so I became the problem for stating there was a problem.”
She attempted to contain herself, but with tears in trembling words she said, “I was told the way of the transgressor is hard and therefore that’s why my life is hard because I am a transgressor”. I could never do it good enough. I tried fitting in those boxes, but it never worked. I was getting more emotionally tired by the day”.
SPIRITUAL IMMATURITY IS NOT REBELLION
Initially, Sue thought God was angry with her. In her eyes she was rebellious and not conforming to what God wanted from her. Sue was immature in her response to God, but was not rebellious. I am glad to tell you, Sue walked away from marijuana and discovered deep and life changing transformation bringing about emotional healing from Jesus. Sue continued her thirst for more of God. She was not content; she wanted more of Him and had a habit of pressing into God. At first glance Sue might have looked rebellious but God understood the difference between weakness and rebellion.
Today, Sue knows more of who God says she is to Him and she stands in His light. Her repentance, obedience and love for God are sincere even when she is weak and flawed. This is an important statement, listen carefully:
“Weak love is not false love, therefore, Jesus values our love for Him even when it is weak.”
The sincere intention to obey God is distinct from the attainment of mature obedience. The pursuit of full obedience is different than attaining it. The Lord is pleased with us from the time we repent which is long before our obedience matures. As genuine lovers of God we do not immediately attain to all that we seek to walk in.
Struggling in weakness (immaturity) is not the same thing as being a hopeless hypocrite (rebellious). A hypocrite is not someone who says one thing and does another, but someone who claims or says something and will not pursue it. In the midst of our struggles and immaturity the enemy tells us we are rebellious or a hopeless hypocrite and you might as well quit.
God viewed the spiritual immaturity of the apostles very differently than the rebellion of the Pharisees. David seemed to commit more serious sins than Saul, but God’s favor continued with David. Why? When David sinned his heart was wounded because he grieved God’s heart. He cared more about his relationship with God than the consequences of getting caught. When Saul sinned he planned to continue in it until caught and confronted. He only gave an outward show of repentance as he continued in rebellion (1 Sam. 15:22-23).
Some live confused without knowing whether God is mad, sad or glad when relating to them. Meditate for a moment on this:
The Lord your God is with you, the Mighty Warrior who saves. He will take great delight in you; in his love he will no longer rebuke you, but will rejoice over you with singing.” Zephaniah 3:17
God is not confused about our weaknesses. Rather, He delights in us and remembering this truth will cause you to “Live Lighter Today”!
QUESTION OF THE DAY:
Are you a slave of sin who struggles to love God or a lover of God who still struggles with sin? Please explain.